I have a few friends on campus in which I enjoy sharing a lunch table with. Most of them are LGBT individuals, and like me, feel exiled from the greater traditional, conservative campus.
Usually, our meal times are full of laughter and fun, but often times I find myself having to teach them about the lifestyle that they have chosen to live.
For example, J was talking to me about his surprise trip to a town three hours away from our campus to meet a boy. I have known J for a few month now and I have heard him talk about his boyfriend on several occasions, and I knew for a fact that his boyfriend did not live in the quaint Oklahoma town he spoke off.
I asked him about his boyfriend, and he proceeded to list several reasons of defense for his actions, "Well he has a fuck buddy on the side." And "Well nothing happened." The excuses that poured from his mouth proved that his actions made him guilty.
I looked him directly in the eye and said, "Seriously, J, be the change." He stared back at me in confusion and I went on to explain what my words meant.
Heterosexuals have a misunderstanding of the Queer community. Most assume that it has no values or standards and that all individuals in our community are promiscuous while in committed relationships. While I cannot defend the entire community from this action, I CAN challenge people to shed positive light for the skeptical heterosexuals by changing the behavior.
If you want the opportunity to have multiple partners don't be in a monogamous relationship. You are hurting the partner in which you are committed too. It makes you look bad and it represents a lack of integrity in our community. Monogomy isn't the only way and neither is Polyamory. However, neither one of them can exists inside the other. Be open and honest with your partner or you risk loosing them. You also risk limiting your amount of sexual partners because of your reputation for being a cheater and a sneak.
Be the change.
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